They Made the Beatles Boring. . .

I was truly looking forward to last night’s show. Who wouldn't be??? After all, there were several really cool performances last week when the contestants were allowed to choose songs from the Lennon/McCartney songbook. This week they were given the entire Beatles collection to choose from --- surely something magical would happen.

This was what my grandmother meant when she would tell me: “Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched!”

Or, what Felix meant when he told Oscar: “When you assume you make an ass out of you and me.”

Somehow, nearly all the contestants managed to make an episode that was showcasing the BEATLES into a virtual snooze-fest.

Once again, I’ll score them: (1) fabulous, (2) okay, (3) please go home.

Amanda was first on stage, looking fabulous. Her choice was “Back in the U.S.S.R.” which, given a few minutes, I could have predicted she’d choose. This girl may be cool, but she really is beginning to sound like she only has one gear. She definitely has a distinct sound but every song sounds the same. It didn’t suck; I gave it a ‘2’.

Next out was Kristy Lee --- don’t they have stylists at this point? If so, hers should be fired. Kristy’s hair was straight out of a Dallas hair salon, her dress was hideous, and Kristy, only a VERY select few people on this earth can pull off the cowboy boots with a dress thing. . . and you’re not one of them. It ended up looking like what my girls and I call “the day after Christmas” when you go to the mall and every kid between 6 and 11 has on every piece of clothing they received on Christmas morning, whether it goes together or not. Add to that the fact that she pretty much killed “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away” --- pitchy in parts and not in the right key for her and I gave her a ‘3’.

David Archuleta chose “The Long and Winding Road” for his performance --- brave, since it does have a lot of lyrics and he DID forget the lyrics last week. He redeemed himself with a flawless performance --- his clear, pure, sincere style, totally on-key and with just enough changes to make it his without disrespecting the original. I gave him a ‘1’.

“A Day in the Life” was Michael’s choice --- quite a risk because he had to cut it down to 1 ½ minutes. Unfortunately, it didn’t quite work. It was pitchy in sections and he muffed the words (he really though at least one of the judges would mention that, but he was spared). I think Michael should start singing music he enjoys and stop inserting the emotional factor of dedicating songs to loved ones. It was disappointing to me because I’m a big fan. I gave him a ‘2’.

Brooke (a.k.a. Stevie Nicks, a.k.a. Oldest 24-year Old in the World) chose to follow her “judge-approved” performance last week with “Here Comes the Sun”. Due to the fact that she’s obviously a real hippy-dippy type, she chose a yellow dress (also hideous and a bit see-through) and a song with about 5 notes and 4 words in the lyrics. You see, very few people can sing that song and not sound like an idiot with lyrics like “Du dn du du”. It was the longest 1 ½ minutes of the night, especially when she started “dancing” (and I put that in quotes because it was very reminsent of the “whirling dervish” dancers you see at some concerts who actually were real hippies in their time). I gave her a ‘2’.

I was really looking forward to David Cook’s performance; he chose to sing “Daytripper”. Maybe it was the fact that it isn’t a real favorite of mine anyway, OR that the first part of the show had already soured the experience or the Peter Frampton touch he inserted. For me it was just okay. He looks and acts like a performer though. My score: 2.

Carly came out next to sing “Blackbird” (according to Simon first known as “Sparrow”) --- one of my favorites. She did make the song her own, and changed up the usual flavor of her performances but I was terribly distracted by the top she was wearing. To me it looked like she had just won the Kentucky Derby. And, since I’ve said this several times at home already, I hope she’s in the early stages of pregnancy. If she’s not it’s unfortunate because she looks as if she is. I gave her a ‘1’ only because her technique was flawless, even though she kind of choked over one part of the lyrics (I think the next stanza came up too quickly for her).

Jason sang the classic “Michelle” --- I sincerely wish he had sung it from a stool on a darkened stage. He’s so uncomfortable without his guitar that he ends up just looking awkward. His movements didn’t match the song. Sadly I gave him a ‘2’.

I was equally not impressed by Syesha’s performance of “Yesterday”. I liked the way she sat on the stage with the guitarist, but it seemed like she as trying to connect with him and not the audience. I have her a ‘2’.

Chikezie selected “I’ve Just Seen a Face”, starting out soft and serious and moving to a rockin’ ending. If he’d left out the bluegrass guitar he MIGHT have been able to pull off the harmonica, but it was a brave, out-of-the-box choice that worked very well. My score: 1.

Poor pitiful Ramiele picked “I Should Have Known Better” and she should have. . . I’m beginning to think her audition performance was a fluke because this little gal sounds more like Karaoke Night each week. My score: 3.

I predict Kristy Lee, Syesha and Ramiele will be in the bottom three. I’m hoping Kristy Lee gets sent home.

I’m also declaring last night’s show the most boring (so far) of this season. How that could happen with Beatles songs, I don’t know.